Being My Best Man – Canadian Reggae World

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My karma was to learn on my own… without a father in my home

My father was a good man

That’s what I wanted to know about him… what I want my children to know of me… not a saint but more, a positive impact to those who knew him.  I learned this from folks who knew him, or knew of him back in the day.  They all speak of him with respect and high regard

My mom raised us the best she knew how and showed us loads of love and affection and hustled over the years to provide for my sister Donna and I.  Very well I might add

For years I struggled with the thought, “why didn’t my father stay with my mom and have a good family?”  He left prior to my 2nd birthday, sister Donna soon to be born

I lived in what I remember as a fairly happy childhood as far as I see it

But like many, I had no father to speak with, as my children have my presence today

I have listened to the statistics of single mothers for many black children and it being blamed on wayward and irresponsible men.  Blamed on men who have multiple women and multiple children, never taking a leadership role to their children as a priority.  It has also been blamed for the increase in crime and violence of young black males

Our fathers were considered as failures and we as children are “incomplete” without that dominant masculine energy a good father may provide.  I do feel somehow society believes daughters develop “daddy issues” seeking a masculinity that they have never known, in many misguided or toxic relationships with men over many years, young women seeking the security and emotional protection and guidance of their own fathers in positive masculine experiences

For the sons growing without that masculinity, we seem to be expected as poor offspring destined to be less, without his guidance

Humans

We have so many explanations and excuses as to why we are failures or not achieving our best

I learned that I do not wish to blame either parent for who and what I have become

My attention is placed on the positive things each provided for me, and with the so called negatives or shortcomings, I tend to view them as my challenges to move through life.  Not a crutch for my own personal shortcomings

Challenges

How we perform in any situation is still personal.  You by yourself!  If one chooses to blame childhood experiences for current behavior, that is always a direction to take but seems like an inability to grow

I try to be my best self in many areas of my life and I have found greater peace and comfort in removing myself from negative or toxic energies.  Those things weaken and lessen the beauty that life has to offer to my best me

It is clearer each day that this place in time is abusive in many, many areas of life’s journeys and one of those it seems is to be abusive to one being male and masculine.  I have zero need to apologize for masculinity and no one will make me subscribe to this notion as I feel that clarity of masculine gender to feminine gender is a base of strength for all humans

It is nature’s balance 

Masculine and feminine are really one word as they are symbiotic to the spiritual and mental well being

In this time, some of us males, masculine gender, are being made to feel like the enemies of society.  Masculinity, once a compliment, feels like an insult in certain circles

I treasure being masculine and I do not carry myself as an “insult” especially for the sake of my children whom I believe benefit greatly from dad’s masculine and their mothers’ feminine energies

I feel like it is a healthy conversation to discuss the masculine and feminine strengths to call upon in parents, siblings, family and friends that may lead to a more naturally balanced existence.

If one is unbalanced in their thinking or in the psyche, their entire essence becomes toxic and discombobulated I have found

This is how I feel

My feeling

How do you feel?

​~ ~ ~


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